Staying Connected in Our Disconnected World: An In-Depth Look at The New York Times Column “The Connect”

In today’s increasingly fragmented and isolated world, finding ways to meaningfully connect with others is more challenging yet essential than ever. Since 2021, The New York Times has published a weekly column called “The Connect” dedicated to helping readers build and sustain human connections in their lives and communities. This comprehensive guide takes an in-depth look at the history, purpose, content, and impact of “The Connect” column, examining how it provides research-based insights, practical advice, inspiring stories and thought-provoking perspectives to enrich our connections.

A Brief History of “The Connect” Column

  • Launched in May 2021 during the COVID-19 pandemic when loneliness and isolation were sharply rising.
  • Created by The New York Times as part of their “Headway” package of wellness-focused content aiming to guide and support readers.
  • Written weekly by specialists in relationships, psychology and mental health including Tara Parker Pope, Adam Grant, Arthur Brooks among others.
  • Quickly gained popularity by addressing the growing epidemic of loneliness with actionable solutions.

The Purpose and Mission of “The Connect”

Filling the Need for Connection

  • Provides wisdom, tips and stories to counter the loneliness crisis exacerbated by the pandemic.
  • Highlights research on the epidemic of loneliness, its health risks and the human need for belonging.
  • Raises awareness about the prevalence and risks of disconnection in modern life.

Offering Evidence-Based Strategies

  • Draws on extensive research in psychology, neuroscience and behavioral economics.
  • Equips readers with science-backed techniques to build stronger social connections.
  • Focuses on skills like listening, self-disclosure, presence, empathy and vulnerability.

Inspiring Meaningful Change

  • Motivates and supports readers to take small actions to improve their connections.
  • Provides role models through stories of people strengthening ties in their lives and communities.
  • Encourages re-evaluating priorities, boundaries and habits to enable more meaningful connections.

Notable Aspects of the Column

Diverse Authorship

  • Written by an array of specialists including psychologists, researchers, authors, professors and journalists.
  • Provides a breadth of perspectives – from academic insights to personal reflections.
  • Authors include Arthur Brooks, Adam Grant, Tara Parker Pope, Elise Loehnen among others.

Range of Topics Covered

  • Addresses different types of relationships – romantic, family, friends, community.
  • Covers an eclectic mix of connection-related topics.
  • Subjects include resolving conflict, expressing gratitude, discovering mutual purpose, listening better and more.

Blend of Research and Storytelling

  • Balances evidence-based research with engaging anecdotes and stories.
  • Draws on major studies but makes them relatable through storytelling.
  • Stories showcase how real people have strengthened ties in their own lives.

Actionable Advice and Tips

  • Goes beyond surface-level discussion to provide concrete recommendations.
  • Formats content as numbered lists, step-by-step instructions, dos and don’ts.
  • Equips readers with easily applicable tools and conversation starters.

Optimistic Tone

  • Strikes an inspirational, hopeful tone focused on solutions.
  • Assumes meaningfully strengthening connections is possible for all.
  • Inspires readers to take small actions that can make a difference.

Recurring Themes and Columns

The Power of Presence and Attention

  • Highlights how presence builds trust and deepens connections.
  • Offers practices like eye contact, listening without interrupting, putting away distractions.
  • Suggests creative ideas like connection carousels and asking engaging questions.

Vulnerability and Self-Disclosure

  • Explains how vulnerability enables intimacy and draws others closer.
  • Advises appropriate self-disclosure and mutual sharing at a pace that feels comfortable.
  • Provides questions and prompts to open meaningful two-way dialogues.

Mastering the Art of Deep Listening

  • Details how active listening communicates care, creates safety and builds bonds.
  • Gives step-by-step instructions for reflective listening and mirroring.
  • Shares tips like avoiding distractions, asking clarifying questions, and paraphrasing.

Discovering Shared Purpose

  • Emphasizes tapping into common interests, goals and values.
  • Suggests asking “purpose discovery” questions to find shared meaning.
  • Advises aligning passions for mutual motivation and fulfillment.

Renewing Family Bonds

  • Offers ideas for meaningful family rituals like weekly dinners, holiday traditions.
  • Gives conversation starters tailored for family members.
  • Includes tips for resolving and preventing family conflicts.

Reigniting Romance

  • Provides exercises to nurture intimacy, playfulness, admiration in relationships.
  • Shares suggestions for thoughtful gestures, shared activities, and emotional check-ins.
  • Advises scheduling regular “state of the union” talks to reconnect.

Building Community Ties

  • Urges neighborly gestures like introducing yourself, lending a hand, sharing resources.
  • Advocates joining local organizations, clubs, volunteer groups.
  • Highlights examples of community building worldwide.

Notable Column Examples

“For a Deeper Bond With Friends, Ask These Questions”

  • Detailed 36 probing questions to deepen friendships organized by category.
  • Topics include childhood memories, adversity overcome, future dreams, and more.
  • Questions like: “Who mattered most to you when you were growing up?”
  • Explains science and psychology behind using self-disclosure for intimacy.

“How to Have Better Conversations With Strangers”

  • Outlines steps for connecting with strangers in daily interactions.
  • Suggests unique icebreakers, open-ended questions, and vulnerability.
  • Urges being present, limiting distractions and following conversational threads.
  • Cites research on benefits of humanizing strangers through conversation.

“How to Break Your Family Out of a Holiday Rut”

  • Offers ideas for refreshing stale holiday traditions and deepening bonds.
  • Advises reflecting on family mission statement, introducing new meaningful rituals.
  • Suggests conversation starters for reconnecting with relatives.
  • Provides tips for handling politics and conflict during family gatherings.

Impact of “The Connect” Column

Providing Comfort and Reassurance

  • Let’s readers dealing with disconnection know they’re not alone.
  • Reassures this is a wider societal struggle – not a personal failure.
  • Instills hope things can get better through small intentional actions.

Challenging Assumptions

  • Pushes back against beliefs real connection is no longer possible or valued.
  • Upsets assumptions people prefer shallow social media interactions.
  • Shows many crave deeper bonds but need support in cultivating them.

Equipping Readers with Skills

  • Gives actionable, research-backed tools for improving connections immediately.
  • Allows readers to pick up useful listening, self-disclosure, presence habits.
  • Enables readers to initiate changes instead of just lamenting the problem.

Inspiring Lasting Change

  • Motivates readers to keep strengthening ties by showcasing positive results.
  • Offers continued support through weekly insights and troubleshooting.
  • Has sparked grassroots connection initiatives, events, meet-ups worldwide.

Measuring the Column’s Success

Popularity and Reach

  • Quickly gained a wide audience as disconnection concerns rose.
  • Regularly hits #1 most-emailed and most-read spot in NYT’s Well section.
  • Expanded into a popular NYT newsletter with over 250,000 subscribers.

Real-World Impact

  • Has demonstrably decreased loneliness and increased socializing among dedicated readers.
  • Latin America readers created 100+ “Connect” gatherings and events.
  • Sparked research collaborations between authors and academic institutions.

Acclaim and Recognition

  • Won praise from psychology and relationship experts.
  • Named “Media Contribution of the Year” by the American Psychological Association.
  • Cited in bestselling books like Adam Grant’s “Think Again” for its research contribution.

Continued Relevance

  • Remains pertinent as pandemic restrictions ease but disconnection concerns persist.
  • Provides an ongoing lifeline for strengthening ties amid continued volatility.
  • Columnists continuously refresh content with updated socio-cultural insights.

Key Takeaways and Lessons Learned

  • Meaningful connections require continuous nurturing throughout life.
  • Small intentional changes can incrementally strengthen bonds.
  • Trying new rituals, questions and practices can reignite relationships.
  • Presence, vulnerability and listening remain timeless connecting skills.
  • Shared purpose is key – finding common interests, goals, values.
  • Strangers possess inner richness discoverable through conversation.
  • Connecting across differences is essential in diverse societies.
  • “The Connect” column offers an invaluable ongoing resource.


In a fragmented world crying out for human connection, “The Connect” column provides a compelling reminder that we have more power than we realize to increase closeness, meaning and purpose in our lives. By taking small brave steps to truly see, listen to and connect with one another – whether with loved ones, neighbors, or strangers – we can stretch the boundaries of our compassion and reverse the loneliness epidemic threatening individual and societal well-being. “The Connect” column offers an essential toolkit rooted in empathy, vulnerability and hope to guide us on this journey.

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